Chaotic love


When that hand grabbed my arm

And pulled me towards himself, 

My instant thought was death

Or life without him?

I chose death than living without him,

My every thought centered around him,

He was so attractive,

My bewitching piece of magnet,

And I was allured towardd him

As if he is the only one in this world,

I never wish to stay without him

As my purpose in life is getting his love,

How can I ever,

Imagine him with someone else?

My heart may stop that moment

If that ever happened.

My past was him, he is my present,

Without him my future seems dark,

He is a soul for my body

And my body was carved to protect his soul,

No matter how far away he goes from me,

He live with me every second…

                         __________

I never knew a storm would come,

To end my life. 

Hands trembling, feet shaking,

Heart thudding, mouth parched,

His every word was crystal clear in my mind.

He said, “You are no good for me,

I want something from life,

You always block my way

And never let me try.”

My mouth opened, I closed it again

Had no idea what to say…

My heart wanted to escape from my chest

My life was about to end.

“Please, don’t leave me!”

I fell on his knees,

“Do listen my cry of pain.

It’s you I want from life,

Without you, I can’t survive.”

He shook his head, “You are mad,

I’m in hurry, let me go.

You wasted my time, you are no good,

Just let me leave alone.”

I was gasping for breath,

The world spinning around me,

My hands locked around his knees,

“Please don’t go or I’ll die,

I want you, you’re my life.”

I pleaded with my face all wet,

My eyes were red, my lips white.

He looked at me for a second,

Frowned at me and made his way.

He went without looking back,

My eyes started to ache,

Please God take me away,

I never wanted this life!

                   ________________

Thirty years later, weak and wrinkled,

Sitting at the same spot,

Hope was with me

That’s all I need to have,

I know he will return,

I pray for him a lot

He never left my thoughts,

Remembering his sweey smile still makes my heart beat fast,

I think of him as mine,

Craving for his return.

He was the best part of my life,

Someone I can never forget,

One thing I know for sure,

He knew that I’m alive

God made me just for him,

And for him I’ll die…

                    ______________

Ten years later, on my dead bed

Surrounded by loved ones,

My beady eyes searched the crowd

For someone very special.

I know he will come

My love for him is strong.

I started gasping for breath,

As a cold hand touched my forehead,

I had to blink twice,

Before I realized,

Though his face was wrinkled,

His hair was white,

He was still as handsome

And still so bright.

He closed his eyes,

As if in pain

And rubbed my face with his hands,

My ecstasy was unbearable,

I wanted to tell him that…

He opened his eyes,

Tears pouring down from them,

My heart ached when I saw his tears

I wanted to soothe him, to tell him it’s okay.

He opened his mouth at last to speak, 

Hearing his soft voice made me say thanks to God!

I felt like the luckiest person,

I wanted everyone to know

My love was back

My life complete!

He spoke so low, but I heard it clear

His voice was so full of agony 

Like it was too much for him to bear.

He said, “I love you so much.

You made my life empty,

I so much wanted to return,

But I was too guilty.”

He said, “I’m so sorry,

Leaving you was a sin,

I will never forgive myself.”

I was surprised, I wanted him to know

He was the reason I stayed alive for so long,

I slowly reached my hand,

To wipe of his tears,

When he saw what I was doing,

A slow smile lightened his eyes.

That was enough, more than enough

I just can’t take more joy…

I memorized his smile,

Before I closed my eyes.

The world went black,

And my heart beat stopped.

I still love you,

Was my last thought. 

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