Headache. I’m going through a very painful time. I feel weak both physically and mentally. I want to have peace more than anything. Peace of mind… I don’t get it. How can a human being, a common human being be responsible for snatching away peace of mind from another human? Does it give them any satisfaction to watch the other person suffer? To watch them writhe in agony for them? Does it give them contentment?
You know what, the most important thing in life is having peace of mind. I can tolerate physical torture but I am unable to bear the constant mental turmoil. I have been pushed into the pits of Hades and I am finding my way out. Help me out. Help me find my way. I don’t want to wander around, lost. Help me get rid of this pain.
It is a terrible place, the pits of Hades. There is fire everywhere and you are trying to get away from the fire but your beloved is pushing you into the fire over and over until you are just a clump of dry charred bones, until you turn into ashes and perish. You feel joy at that time, thinking the agony will fade now but the very next day, you are alive again, standing in the pit, all flesh and bones with blood flooding in your body, like you are a newborn child. You want to scream at the hopelessness of your situation but your throat is so dry that you are unable to utter a word.
And then he comes again…
And then he pushes you in the fire again.
That’s what I go through everyday. There is no escape.